Was Traum Darf Kommen [Wahr]
What Dreams May Come [True]
Some pyschologists believe that dreams are the mind’s way of explaining your life or consolidating information in a way that makes the most sense. The fact that we can’t control our dreams is probably for the best since we are unable to affect them and distort their meaning.
Last night, I dreamed that I was visiting Germany with JR. He dropped me off at a spa to get a chemical peel and a facial one evening. It was my birthday. After the facial, he wasn’t around so I meandered through the streets of Germany without him. I ended up buying a laptop in Germany exactly like the one I have now. A moment later, I was back in Cheyenne. I went to return a printer that came with the laptop and my car just wouldn’t go. I was really pushing the gas hard and it was still moving slowly. I finally made it to the store and they decided to give me another printer and a Wii free. This was useless to me since I don’t play games – especially not video games.
On my way out of the store, JR was suddenly 20 years younger and the image of my dream guy: tall, chin length gorgeous chocolate brunette hair, fit, European face (kind of French/ kind of German looking), etc. He was with someone else. This guy was short, bulky, very macho looking and a lot more masculine than I am. JR said to me, ”How can we almost fall in love and then you just walk away? I could have fallen for you.” I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to say that I would miss him, but I didn’t. I just kind of started crying and I remember feeling that I wasn’t going to just move on and let this one go. Instead, he kept stepping farther away back just the way I would when I have been betrayed. And I woke up.
What it means:
Dreaming about JR refers to a time in my life when adulthood didn’t interfere with my romantic interests. There is excitement, spontaneity, and youth lacking in my current state in life. The fact that he took me to a spa means that I need to let go of a lot of the defensiveness that I have been bringing into my most recent potential relationships. Being in a spa also indicates my concern for appearance and beauty and that I might be trying too hard, deception or some sort of cover-up. It could also mean that I am taking on a new outlook toward life. Or maybe I need to take time out to pamper myself and wash away old secrets, pains and guilt. It’s time to let my emotions out and begin healing and become a fresh, new person. This I need to start trusting again. I think that since I dreamt that he and I visited Europe means that I am revisiting old ways of thinking. But the fact that it was my birthday in this dream signifies that I am celebrating who I am and coming to terms with myself as a person.
Dreaming about a computer suggests that I am experiencing a lack of individuality and ability to express emotions and feelings. The fact that I was trying to return a printer says that I am having trouble expressing my thoughts in a way that others can understand…which is probably how I ended up with TWO printers in the end when I didn’t even want one of them. While I was driving to return the printer, the fact that I was driving a car describes my ambition and drive to move from one stage in life to another and my level of active control to get to wherever I’m heading. Since my car wasn’t moving quickly enough, it shows that I am spending too much energy and need to slow down so that I don’t burn out by taking on more than I can handle.
When I left the store to return my printer, JR’s car was parked can go two ways: Either I need to turn my efforts and energies elsewhere or I might be pursuing something that just isn’t going to work out. In this case, it would be trying to find someone significant in my life. It’s just not going to happen. It could also mean that I need to slow down and enjoy whatever is in front of me. All of this took place at night, which suggests that there are major setbacks and obstacles in achieving my goals. I know exactly what these are: living in Cheyenne and having a job that pays practically nothing. It means that I should put everything aside and come back to it later for a new beginning. Does this mean I should abandon my plans right now and come back to them later? Maybe I’ll take a break in January to travel or something.
The part of this dream that I don’t like is the video game symbolism. Receiving a video game could represent my ability to manipulate others OR that I am trying to avoid confronting the stresses and problems in my real life. While I do have the ability to manipulate people, I always choose not to. It violates a major rule in my life, which is: DO NOT PLAY GAMES – EVER. Another rule I have is not to be avoidant. Both of these rules are listed clearly in one of my other blogs posted as a webpage. Ultimately, I think this means that I might think that I have no control over my actions and refuse to take responsibility for them. I have a major problem with that. I think that it actually means that I am not taking responsibility for my life and I am not being mindful of the experience and reactions of others. I am truly sorry for this and in the end, it’s only hurting me.
Dreaming of love means that I have carried intense feelings from a waking relationship into my dreams. It also means that I might not be getting enough love in my daily life and long to be accepted. However, this was not love. This was ALMOST love. This could have been, but wasn’t. This was more about regret than it was about love.
This dream really allowed me to regain some balance by recognizing my fear and frustration, rather than repressing my feelings. I actually let my defenses down in this dream and release some things that I have been keeping to myself. However, JR was unresponsive to this in my dream just like the guys from this summer have been. I really tried to open up to two guys this summer and it was as though everything they said and everything I sad was falling on deaf ears.
Overall, I think this dream means that I need to be more direct. It was a deeply spiritually cleaning experience last night.
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