Oops…I fell

This feeling I’ve had for months has had a sudden growth spurt: I’m falling for someone and I don’t know what to do about it. Thoughts of him won’t leave my head and when I sleep, I dream about him. I can’t escape it and I can’t say, “Oh, I’ll worry about this tomorrow” because I know tomorrow it’s just going to be even stronger. This isn’t supposed to happen. I usually have much better control over these things and I can usually turn it on or off at any moment…but not this time. It’s late. I’m tired. Thoughts of why it would and wouldn’t work keep racing through my head. I’m trying to be logical about this, but my logic isn’t helping me with this one. I could turn to math and write a formula to predict the results of all of this. If the outcome shows that it would all go to hell, it wouldn’t matter because I would still feel this way. If the outcome shows that it would just get better, this would only grow and I’m terrified by that. I wish that I could articlate how much this person inspires me to be a better person and how much I admire him but I don’t have the words. Ugh. What to do?

~ by freeradicalredox on November 14, 2007.